whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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