so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
