they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
