There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
