i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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