My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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