Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
