check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
