He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
