belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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