She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
