Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
