We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
