Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
