I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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