I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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