just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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