I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
