I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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