Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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