Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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