I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
