Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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