Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I touched a dick in church today
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
