Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
