first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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