mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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