i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
