I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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