I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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