I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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