Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
