She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
