8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
