I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
