what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize