ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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