I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
