Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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