They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize