We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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