that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
