i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
