i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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