I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
