yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
