So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize