4 words: hood of his car
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
