She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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