WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
