should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
