I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
