I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
