the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
