I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
