Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
