I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
