his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
