Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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