If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
