Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
